A Jewish man walked into the Lingerie Department of Macy¹s in New York.
He tells the saleslady, 'I would like a Jewish bra for my wife size, 34B.'
With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, 'What kind of bra?'
He repeated, 'A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a Jewish
bra, and that you would know what she wanted.'
'Ah, now I remember,' said the saleslady. 'We don't get as many requests
for those as we used to. Most of our customers lately want the Catholic bra,
or the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian bra.'
Confused, and a little flustered, the man asked 'So, what are the
differences?'
The sales lady responded. 'It is all really quite simple. The Catholic bra
supports the masses. The Salvation Army lifts up the fallen, and the
Presbyterian bra keeps them staunch and upright.'
He mused on that information for a minute and said,
' Hmm. I know I¹ll regret asking, but what does the Jewish bra do?'
'Ah, the Jewish bra,' she replied ³makes mountains out of molehills.'
Which PARTY are you from ?
It was at a party and the host was getting worried because there were too
many people and not enough refreshments.
She was sure that not all of these people had been invited but didn't know
how to tell which ones were the crashers. Then her husband got an idea....
He turned to the crowd of guests and said "Will those who are from the
brides side of the family stand up please?" about twenty people stood.
Then he asked " Will those who are from the groom side of the family stand
up as well?" about twenty five people stood up.
The He smiled and said
"Will all those who stood please leave, This is a birthday party".
BARRI....STAR
Barrister: What is your date of birth?
Plaintiff: July 15th
Barrister: What year?
Plaintiff: Every year
----
Barrister: What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
Plaintiff: Er, Gucci and Reeboks
----
Barrister: This myasthemia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Plaintiff: Yes
Barrister: And in what way does it affect your memory?
Plaintiff: I forget
Barrister: You forget. Can you give me another example of something you've forgotten?
----
Barrister: What was the first thing your husband said to you when you woke up on the morning in question?
Plaintiff: He said "where am I Cathy?"
Barrister: And why did that upset you?
Plaintiff: My name is Susan
----
Barrister: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Plaintiff: No
Barrister: Did you check for blood pressure?
Plaintiff: No
Barrister: Did you check for breathing?
Plaintiff: No
Barrister: So is it possible that the patient was alive when you performed the autopsy?
Plaintiff: No
Barrister: How can you be so sure doctor?
Plaintiff: Because his brain was sitting in a jar on my desk
Barrister: But the patient could have still been alive nevertheless?
Plaintiff: Yes it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere
