tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2009-11-21:/MokoFeed2009-11-21T06:28:34+01:00tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2009-11-14:/2009/11/14/costly-ego-7372037/bjaypee2009-11-14T14:22:15+01:002009-11-14T14:40:09+01:00 <p><span><strong>How our inner Ego sometimes misjudges a PERSON</strong></span></p> <p>A lady in a faded grey dress and her husband, dressed  in a home-spun suit  walked in timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President's outer office. The secretary could  tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Harvard.</p> <p>"We want to see the President "the man said softly.</p> <p>"He'll be busy all day "the secretary snapped.</p> <p>"We'll wait" the lady replied.</p> <p>For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president..</p> <p>"Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they'll leave" she said to him.</p> <p>The President, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the couple.</p> <p>The lady told him "We had a son who attended Harvard for one y ear. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally  killed. My husband and I would like to erect a  memorial to him, somewhere on campus."</p> <p>The president wasn't touched....He was shocked.  "Madam "he said, gruffly, we can't put up a statue for every person who attended  Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery."</p> <p>"Oh, no," the lady explained quickly" We don't  want to erect a statue. We  thought we would like to give a building to  Harvard."</p> <p>The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, and then exclaimed, "A building! Do you  have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard."</p> <p>For a moment the lady was silent. The president  was  pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now. The lady turned to her  husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a university ? Why  don't we just start our own?"</p> <p>Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and  bewilderment. Mr. & Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and  walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established  the University that bears their name: -Stanford University, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer  cared about.<br> <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a3/MrandMrsLelandStanford1850.JPG/170px-MrandMrsLelandStanford1850.JPG" alt="Stanford" title=""> </p> <p> </p> <p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br> Most of the time we judge people by their outer  appearance, which can be misleading. And in this impression, we tend to treat people badly by thinking they can do nothing for us. Thus we tend  to lose our potential good friends, employees or customers.</p> <p>Remember in our life, we seldom get people with  whom  we want to share &  grow our thought process. But because of our inner EGO we miss them forever.It is you who have to decide with whom you are getting associated in day   to day life.</p> <p>Small people talk about others, Average people talk about things, Great people talk about ideas. The best mirror is an old friend.</p> <p><span>recd as fwd email</span></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2009/11/14/costly-ego-7372037/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2009-11-14:/2009/11/14/side-effects-of-alcohol-and-it-s-remedies-7371813/bjaypee2009-11-14T13:38:34+01:002009-11-14T13:45:13+01:00 <p><strong>1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.<br> Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle…you’re pouring the drink on your feet.<br> Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward.</p> <p>2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.<br> Cause: You're lying on the floor.<br> Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.</p> <p>3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.<br> Cause: You're looking through an empty glass.<br> Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.</p> <p>4. Symptom: The floor is moving.<br> Cause: You're being dragged away.<br> Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.</p> <p>5. Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.<br> Cause: You have your glass on your ear.<br> Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!</p> <p>6. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.<br> Cause: You're in an ambulance.<br> Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.</p> <p>7. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.<br> Cause: You're in the wrong house.<br> Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.</strong></p> <p>recd as fwd email </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2009/11/14/side-effects-of-alcohol-and-it-s-remedies-7371813/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2009-11-14:/2009/11/14/costly-7371786/bjaypee2009-11-14T13:32:08+01:002009-11-14T13:32:08+01:00 <p><strong><span>A little old is walking down the street one afternoon, when he sees a woman with perfect breasts.</p> <p> He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?"</p> <p> "Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away.</p> <p> He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again.</p> <p> "Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"</p> <p> So the little old man runs around the next block and faces her again, "Would you let me bite your breasts - just once - for $10,000 dollars?!"</p> <p> She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmm, $10,000 dollars...Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."</p> <p> So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them,licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.</p> <p> The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, 'Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?'</p> <p> "Nah," says the little old man ... "<span>Costs too much</span>!"</span></strong> </p> <p> <span>recd as a fwd email</span></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2009/11/14/costly-7371786/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2009-11-14:/2009/11/14/husbands-are-husbands-7371717/bjaypee2009-11-14T13:17:31+01:002009-11-14T13:17:31+01:00 <p><strong>Wife:          'What are you doing?'<br> Husband:     ' Nothing'<br> Wife:          'Nothing...?  You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'<br> Husband:      'I was looking for the expiration date.'</p> <p> ------------------------------</strong></p> <strong><br> Wife :       'Do you want dinner?'<br> Husband:       'Sure! What are my choices?'<br> Wife:          'Yes or no.'<br> _____________</p> <p>Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?'<br> Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'<br> Wife:  'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'<br> Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'<br> ------------------------------</strong> <strong>--------------------------<br> Stress Reliever </strong> <strong><br>Girl:       'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'<br> Boy:       'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'<br> Girl:       'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'<br> ------------------------------<br> Son:       'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'<br> Mom:    'Well, you have done the right thing.'<br> Son:       'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'<br> ______________________________</strong><strong>__</p> <p>A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'<br> 'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'<br> ------------------------------</strong><strong>----------------------------<br> Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.<br> The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'<br> ------------------------------</strong><strong>-<br> A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'<br> He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'<br> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br> A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.</p> <p>'What was that for?' the man asked..    </p> <p>The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'. </strong> <strong><br>The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'</p> <p>The wife apologized and went on with the housework.</p> <p> Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon regaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.</p> <p>Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'<br> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br> <span>Give me a sense of humour, Lord,<br> Give me the grace to see a joke,<br> To get some humour out of life,<br> And pass it on to other folks</span>.</strong> <span>recd as a fwd email</span> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2009/11/14/husbands-are-husbands-7371717/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2009-10-14:/2009/10/14/typos-7168325/bjaypee2009-10-14T16:02:58+02:002009-10-14T16:06:02+02:00 <p><strong>If you are not one of those who sends the self typed emails without proof reading or not very good at typing....hmmm...or you request the other person to type the email for you...better be careful.</strong><br> <span><br>1. In <strong>B. ED</strong></span> </p> <p>A daughter sent an email to her father on passing her B. Ed.  exams, which the father received as "Father, your daughter has been successful in BED"</p> <p> <span>2. Who is here?</span></p> <p>A husband, while on a business trip to a hill station sent an email to his wife "I wish you were here."</p> <p> The message  received by the wife was "I  wish you were her"</p> <p> <span>3.<strong>Top and Bottom</strong></span></p> <p> A man wanted to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a  party.</p> <p> So  he  ordered a birthday cake. The salesman asked him what message he wanted put on the cake.</p> <p> He thought for a moment and said, put "Getting older but you are getting better".</p> <p><span> </span> The salesman asked "How do you want me to put it?"</p> <p> The man said 'Well...put "You are getting older" at the top and "But you are getting better" at the bottom.'</p> <p> When the cake was unveiled at the party all the guests were aghast at the message on the cake.</p> <p> It reads "You are getting older at the top, but you are getting better at the bottom"</p> <p> <span><br> Moral of the Story:</span></p> <p> 1.  Double proof read everything before you send.<br> 2.  Don't trust others to write it right for you.<br> 3.  Don't order cakes by telephone.</p> <p><span>recd as fwd email</span></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2009/10/14/typos-7168325/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2009-10-03:/2009/10/03/best-salesman-7088814/bjaypee2009-10-03T07:54:37+02:002009-10-03T07:54:37+02:00 <p><strong>A keen immigrant Indian Marwadi lad applied for a salesman's job at London's premier downtown department store. In fact, it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there.</p> <p>The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" "Yes sir, I was a salesman in India ", replied the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you."</p> <p>The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it. And finally 6:00 PM came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?" "Sir, Just ONE sale." said the young salesman. "Only one sale?" blurted the boss.. "No! No! You see here, most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. "If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way "How much was the sale worth?" "300534.00 pounds" said the young Marwadi.</p> <p>"What.....how did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.</p> <p>"Well", said the salesman, "This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sell him new fishing rod and some fishing gear. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. So I told him he'd be needing a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4X4 Blazer.</p> <p>I then asked him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6-sleeper camper tents. Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about 100 Pounds worth of groceries and two cases of beer.</p> <p>The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook!!"</p> <p>"No" answered the salesman, "he came in to buy a box of Sanitary napkins for his wife and I said to him, "Sir, Your weekend is screwed anyway, you might as well go fishing."</p> <p>Boss - "You sit in my chair.......".</p> <p>[recd as a fwd email]</p> <p>JP adds - And all those guys who do not have to buy SNs due to MENO..NO..NO problems might as well go for permanent fishing....as in any case their lives are screwed up on a 24*365 basis</p> <p></strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2009/10/03/best-salesman-7088814/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2009-09-25:/2009/09/25/costly-ego-7035850/bjaypee2009-09-25T08:23:00+02:002009-09-25T08:56:00+02:00 <p><span>A lady in a faded grey dress and her husband, dressed in a home-spun suit walked in timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President's outer office. The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Harvard.</p> <p> "We want to see the President "the man said softly. "He'll be busy all day "the secretary snapped."We'll wait" the lady replied.</p> <p> For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president..</p> <p> "Maybe if you see them for a few minutes,they'll leave" she said to him. The President, stern faced and with dignity,strutted toward the couple.</p> <p> The lady told him "We had a son who attended Harvard for one y ear. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus."</p> <p> The president wasn't touched....He was shocked."Madam "he said, gruffly, we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery."</p> <p> "Oh, no," the lady explained quickly" We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard."</p> <p> The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, and then exclaimed, "A building!Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard."</p> <p> For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now. The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a university ? Why don't we just start our own?"</p> <p> Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. Mr.and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the University that bears their name: - <strong>Stanford University</strong>, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.</p> <p> Most of the time we judge people by their outer appearance, which can be misleading and many times, very costly </p> <p><span>recd as a fwd email</span></span></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2009/09/25/costly-ego-7035850/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2009-01-16:/2009/01/16/the-liquid-inside-young-coconuts-can-be-used-as-a-5389361/bjaypee2009-01-16T16:46:15+01:002009-09-25T09:05:45+02:00 <p>The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for </p> <p> <img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c7b9c3ce41&view=att&th=11ee00b125f53fc5&attid=0.22&disp=emb&zw" alt=""> <strong>Blood plasma. <br> </strong><br> <strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong> <br> No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. </p> <p> </strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong> </p> <p> Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. </p> <p> <strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong> </p> <p> You burn more calories sleeping <br> <img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c7b9c3ce41&view=att&th=11ee00b125f53fc5&attid=0.7&disp=emb&zw" alt=""><br> than you do watching television. </p> <p> </strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong>*</p> <p> Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older. </p> <p> <strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong> <br> The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum. </p> <p> </strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong> </p> <p> The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE </p> <p> <strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong> </p> <p> American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive <br> <img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c7b9c3ce41&view=att&th=11ee00b125f53fc5&attid=0.2&disp=emb&zw" alt=""><br> from each salad served in first-class. </p> <p> </strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong> </p> <p> Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women,what does this tell you!) </p> <p> <strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong>* </p> <p> Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. </p> <p> <strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong>* </p> <p> Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN! </p> <p> <strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong> </p> <p> The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. <br> So did the first ' Marlboro Man. ' </p> <p> </strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong> </p> <p> Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE! </p> <p> <strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong> </p> <p> PEARLS MELT IN VINEGAR! </p> <p> </strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong> </p> <p> The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. </p> <p> </strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>* </p> <p> It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... <br> <img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c7b9c3ce41&view=att&th=11ee00b125f53fc5&attid=0.6&disp=emb&zw" alt=""><br> but, not downstairs. </p> <p> </strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong> </p> <p> A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. </p> <p> <strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong> </p> <p> Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6)feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. </p> <p> </strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong> </p> <p> Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first U.S. president whose name contains all the letters from the word 'criminal'.The second ? <br> William Jefferson Clinton (SURPRISED!?) </p> <p> </strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong><strong>*</strong> </p> <p> And the best for last..... <br> <img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c7b9c3ce41&view=att&th=11ee00b125f53fc5&attid=0.25&disp=emb&zw" alt=""><br> Turtles can breathe through their butts. </p> <p> ``~~~~`~~~~~~````````~~~~~~~`<br> <span>recd as a fwd email</span></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2009/01/16/the-liquid-inside-young-coconuts-can-be-used-as-a-5389361/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2009-01-16:/2009/01/16/worth-only-5389331/bjaypee2009-01-16T16:40:36+01:002009-01-16T16:40:36+01:00 <p><strong>A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement.</p> <p>Noticing this, a policeman stops her. "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."</p> <p>" Darn!" says the little old lady....."I'd better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the warning!"</p> <p>"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? Did you steal it?"</p> <p>"Oh, no", says the little old lady. You see, my backyard backs up to the parking lot of 'Lambeau Field'. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes and right into my flower beds! So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes, I say $20 or off it comes!"</p> <p>"Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?"</p> <p>"Well," says the little old lady, "some guys think I'm bluffing."</strong></p> <p>from fwd circuit </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2009/01/16/worth-only-5389331/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2009-01-07:/2009/01/07/heart-attacks-and-drinking-warm-water-5335431/bjaypee2009-01-07T02:51:03+01:002009-01-08T05:27:37+01:00 <span><span><span>Recd as a fwd email from a friend</span></span></span><br><span><br><span><br></span></span><span><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c7b9c3ce41&view=att&th=118d78f48d6bbdfc&attid=0.1&disp=emb&realattid=0.1.0.2&zw" alt="" width="456" height="471"><em><span><br> </span></em><em><span><br>This is a very good article. Not only about the warm water after your meal, but about  </span></em><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c7b9c3ce41&view=att&th=118d78f48d6bbdfc&attid=0.3&disp=emb&realattid=0.1.0.3&zw" alt="" width="87" height="97"><em><span>  </span></em><em><span><span>Heart Attacks</span></span></em><em><span> . The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals, not cold water, maybe it is time we adopt their </span></em><em><span><span>drinking habit </span></span></em><em><span>while eating. </span></em><em><span><br> </span></em><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c7b9c3ce41&view=att&th=118d78f48d6bbdfc&attid=0.4&disp=emb&realattid=0.1.0.4&zw" alt="" width="400" height="316"><strong><em><span> </span></em></strong><em><span> </span></em><em><span><br> </span></em><span><strong>For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the </strong></span><strong><span><span>intestine</span></span><span> faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to </span><span><span>cancer</span></span><span>. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal. </span></strong><strong><span><span><br> C</span></span></strong><strong><span><span>ommon Symptoms Of Heart Attack...</span></span><span> </span><span><br> A serious note about heart attacks - You should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the </span><span><span>left arm hurting</span></span><span> . Be aware of intense </span><span><span>pain</span></span><span> in the </span><span><span>jaw line</span></span><span> . <br> You may never have the first </span><span><span>chest pain</span></span><span> during the course of a heart attack. </span><span><span>Nausea</span></span><span> and </span><span><span>intense sweating</span></span><span> are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive. <br> A </span><span><span>cardiologist</span></span><span> says if everyone who reads this message sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life. Read this & Send to a friend. It could save a life. So, please be a true friend and send this article to all your friends you care about. </span></strong></span> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2009/01/07/heart-attacks-and-drinking-warm-water-5335431/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2009-01-07:/2009/01/07/some-more-fwd-jokes-5335422/bjaypee2009-01-07T02:41:12+01:002009-01-07T02:46:23+01:00 <span><strong><span>BRA....G</span></p> <p>A Jewish man walked into the Lingerie Department of Macy¹s in New York.</p> <p>He tells the saleslady,  'I would like a Jewish bra for my wife size, 34B.'</p> <p>With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, 'What kind of bra?' </p> <p>He repeated, 'A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a Jewish<br>bra, and that you would know what she wanted.'</p> <p>'Ah, now I remember,' said the saleslady. 'We don't get as many requests <br>for those as we used to. Most of our customers lately want the Catholic bra,<br>or the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian bra.'</p> <p>Confused, and a little flustered, the man asked  'So, what are the<br> differences?'</p> <p>The sales lady responded. 'It is all really quite simple. The Catholic bra<br>supports the masses. The Salvation Army lifts up the fallen, and the<br>Presbyterian bra keeps them staunch and upright.' </p> <p>He mused on that information for a minute and said,</p> <p>' Hmm. I know I¹ll regret asking, but what does the Jewish bra do?'</p> <p>'Ah, the Jewish bra,' she replied ³makes mountains out of molehills.' </strong></span>   <p><span><strong><span>Which PARTY are you from ?</span><br> <br> It was at a party and the host was getting worried because there were  too<br>many people and not enough refreshments.</p> <p>She was sure that not all of these people had been invited but didn't  know<br>how to tell which ones were the crashers. Then her husband got an  idea.... </p> <p>He turned to the crowd of guests and said "Will those who are from the<br>brides side of the family stand up please?" about twenty people stood.</p> <p>Then he asked " Will those who are from the groom side of the family stand <br>up as well?" about twenty five people stood up.</p> <p>The He smiled and said</p> <p>"Will all those who stood please leave, This is a birthday party".</strong></span></p> <p><u>BARRI....STAR</u></p> <p><strong>Barrister: What is your date of birth?<br> Plaintiff: July 15th<br> Barrister: What year?<br> Plaintiff: Every year</p> <p>----</p> <p>Barrister: What gear were you in at the moment of impact?<br> Plaintiff: Er, Gucci and Reeboks</p> <p>----</p> <p>Barrister: This myasthemia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?<br> Plaintiff: Yes<br> Barrister: And in what way does it affect your memory?<br> Plaintiff: I forget<br> Barrister: You forget. Can you give me another example of something you've forgotten?</p> <p>----</p> <p>Barrister: What was the first thing your husband said to you when you woke up on the morning in question?<br> Plaintiff: He said "where am I Cathy?"<br> Barrister: And why did that upset you?<br> Plaintiff: My name is Susan</p> <p>----</p> <p>Barrister: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?<br> Plaintiff: No<br> Barrister: Did you check for blood pressure?<br> Plaintiff: No<br> Barrister: Did you check for breathing?<br> Plaintiff: No<br> Barrister: So is it possible that the patient was alive when you performed the autopsy?<br> Plaintiff: No<br> Barrister: How can you be so sure doctor?<br> Plaintiff: Because his brain was sitting in a jar on my desk<br> Barrister: But the patient could have still been alive nevertheless?<br> Plaintiff: Yes it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere</strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2009/01/07/some-more-fwd-jokes-5335422/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-12-29:/2008/12/29/brain-teasers-5294000/bjaypee2008-12-29T17:01:45+01:002008-12-29T17:04:51+01:00 <p><strong><br> This is a REAL neurological test. Be seated comfortably and feel calm...</p> <p>1- Find the C below. Do not use any cursor help. </p> <p>OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO<br> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO<br> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO<br> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO<br> OOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO<br> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO<br> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO<br> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO<br> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO<br> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO<br> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO </p> <p>2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below. </p> <p>9999999999999999999 9999999999999999 9999999999999999 9999999999999999<br> 9999999999999999999 9999999999999999 9999999999999999 9999999999999999<br> 9999999999999999999 9999999999999999 9999999999999999 9999999999999999<br> 9999699999999999999 9999999999999999 9999999999999999 9999999999999999<br> 9999999999999999999 9999999999999999 9999999999999999 9999999999999999<br> 9999999999999999999 9999999999999999 9999999999999999 9999999999999999 </p> <p>3- Now find the N below. It's a little more difficult.. </p> <p>MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MNMMMM<br> MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMM<br> MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMM<br> MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMM<br> MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMM </p> <p>This is NOT a joke. (can't vouch for it!)<br> Apparently... If you were able to pass these 3 tests, you can cancel your annual visit to your neurologist.<br> Your brain is great and you're far from having Alzheimer Disease.<br> Congratulations!<br> [from a fwd email]</strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/12/29/brain-teasers-5294000/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-12-03:/2008/12/03/india-awake-and-arise-before-it-is-too-late-5156237/bjaypee2008-12-03T14:46:38+01:002009-01-02T02:59:46+01:00 <blockquote><p><strong>Read this article with some 'deadly' photos <a href="http://india-arise.blogspot.com/">here </a></strong></p></blockquote> <p><strong>INDIA, my beloved country….</p> <p>Let us shake out of this deep slumber. What happened in Bombay on 26/27/28 November 2008 can happen any where in our country, if we do not arise and act.</p> <p>What happened to those innocent travelers and bystanders in CST railway station, Nariman House and other places can happen to any of us. Death by default. Default of 'dictators' who go by the name of ministers but belonging to a common cannibal tribe called 'politicians'.</p> <p>The same tribe who were playing the fiddles and fiddling their thumbs during the fire but had the temerity to call the families after the cremation of those who sacrificed their lives.</p> <p>It is not only the politician who is corrupt…you and I are equally responsible.</p> <p>It is not only the Shivraj Patels, Deshmuks, RR Patels, Baalus and Rajas who are morally and intelligently bankrupt but Sonia Gandhi, Sharad Pawar and Karunanidhi who put them in those positions are more responsible.</p> <p>It is not only the delay of NSG reaching Bombay that cost more lives but the justification offered for that delay by NSG DG and Special Secretary that calls for action.</p> <p>It is not only the ruthlessness of the terrorists but the stupidity of the chief of ATS Maharastra and his colleagues who went to the ‘battle field’ with just vintage bullet proof jackets that cost their lives.<br> It is not only those in charge of mortuaries who did not bother to cover the bodies of ordinary policemen lying unattended on the floor but the so called elite reporters of TV channels and photographers who did not let us see and hear the press conference of NSG DG properly, who need to be kicked.</p> <p><strong>Oh God, help us</strong></p> <p>After the Nariman House was cleared off the terrorists, when the crowds poured into that street where the house was located, did you notice the BJP MAHARAJA Gopinath Munde walking down with two young ladies and other chamchas..while the crowd was being controlled by ...hold your thoughts...not the police but BJP workers wearing yellow shirts and sticks in their hands...</p> <p>Why is the most incompetent DGP Maharastra AN Roy not thrown out ?</p> <p>Is it not time Western Naval Command Chief and the Coast Guard Chief being held responsible for 'sleeping in the sea waters' when the trawler and speed boat used by the 'ts' could reach Colaba coast ?</p> <p>Should we not 'honour' the 'all in spotless white - including the juthi shoes-' CM VR Deshmuk who organised a conducted tour for himself, his two sons and a movie producer along with a lot of freeloaders of the devastated Taj Hotel with 'Bharat Ratna'? </strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/12/03/india-awake-and-arise-before-it-is-too-late-5156237/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-10-25:/2008/10/25/words-of-wisdomfrom-a-comedian-4927292/bjaypee2008-10-25T02:11:08+02:002008-10-25T02:11:08+02:00 <p><strong><span>A Message by George Carlin, comedian of 70s & 80s</span></p> <p>The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. </p> <p>We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.</p> <p>We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.</p> <p>We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. </strong></p> <p><strong>We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. </p> <p>These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete... </p> <p>Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.</p> <p>Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. </p> <p>Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.</p> <p>Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. </p> <p>Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.</p> <p>Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.</p> <p>AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: </p> <p>Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.</strong></p> <p>[from the fwd email circuit]</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/10/25/words-of-wisdomfrom-a-comedian-4927292/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-10-20:/2008/10/20/zeeeeeeeeeeeeebra-4899751/bjaypee2008-10-20T10:13:43+02:002008-10-20T16:07:42+02:00 <p><a href="http://www.mnartists.org/uploads/users/user_6002/a7c58acc2569c357a0ebee46b467ffad/a7c58acc2569c357a0ebee46b467ffad.gif"><img src="http://www.mnartists.org/uploads/users/user_6002/a7c58acc2569c357a0ebee46b467ffad/a7c58acc2569c357a0ebee46b467ffad.gif" alt="Zebra" width="302" height="223"></a></p> <p>courtesy :www.mnartists.org/</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/10/20/zeeeeeeeeeeeeebra-4899751/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-10-19:/2008/10/19/significance-of108-4895388/bjaypee2008-10-19T15:29:03+02:002008-10-19T15:34:44+02:00 <p>[Taken verbatum from mailerindia.com was sent to me as a forwarded email by a friend]</p> <p><strong>The Indian Subcontinent rosary or set of mantra counting has 108 beads. 108 has been a sacred number in the Indian Subcontinent for a very long time. This number is explained in many different ways.</p> <p>The ancient Indians were excellent mathematicians and 108 may be the product of a precise mathematical operation (e.g. 1 power 1 x 2 power 2 x 3 power 3 = 108) which was thought to have special numerological significance.</p> <p>Powers of 1, 2, and 3 in math: 1 to 1st power=1; 2 to 2nd power=4 (2x2); 3 to 3rd power=27 (3x3x3). 1x4x27=108</p> <p>Sanskrit alphabet: There are 54 letters in the Sanskrit alphabet. Each has masculine and feminine, shiva and shakti. 54 times 2 is 108.</p> <p>Sri Yantra: On the Sri Yantra there are marmas where three lines intersect, and there are 54 such intersections. Each intersections has masculine and feminine, shiva and shakti qualities. 54 x 2 equals 108. Thus, there are 108 points that define the Sri Yantra as well as the human body.</p> <p>9 times 12: Both of these numbers have been said to have spiritual significance in many traditions. 9 times 12 is 108. Also, 1 plus 8 equals 9. That 9 times 12 equals 108.</p> <p>Heart Chakra: The chakras are the intersections of energy lines, and there are said to be a total of 108 energy lines converging to form the heart chakra. One of them, sushumna leads to the crown chakra, and is said to be the path to Self-realization.</p> <p>Marmas: Marmas or marmastanas are like energy intersections called chakras, except have fewer energy lines converging to form them. There are said to be 108 marmas in the subtle body.</p> <p>Time: Some say there are 108 feelings, with 36 related to the past, 36 related to the present, and 36 related to the future.<br> Astrology: There are 12 constellations, and 9 arc segments called namshas or chandrakalas. 9 times 12 equals 108. Chandra is moon, and kalas are the divisions within a whole.</p> <p>Planets and Houses: In astrology, there are 12 houses and 9 planets. 12 times 9 equals 108.</p> <p>Gopis of Krishna: In the Krishna tradition, there were said to be 108 gopis or maid servants of Krishna.</p> <p>1, 0, and 8: 1 stands for God or higher Truth, 0 stands for emptiness or completeness in spiritual practice, and 8 stands for infinity or eternity.</p> <p>Sun and Earth: The diameter of the sun is 108 times the diameter of the Earth.</p> <p>Numerical scale: The 1 of 108, and the 8 of 108, when added together equals 9, which is the number of the numerical scale, i.e. 1, 2, 3 ... 10, etc., where 0 is not a number.</p> <p>Smaller divisions: The number 108 is divided, such as in half, third, quarter, or twelfth, so that some malas have 54, 36, 27, or 9 beads.<br> Islam: The number 108 is used in Islam to refer to God.</p> <p>Jain: In the Jain religion, 108 are the combined virtues of five categories of holy ones, including 12, 8, 36, 25, and 27 virtues respectively.</p> <p>Sikh: The Sikh tradition has a mala of 108 knots tied in a string of wool, rather than beads.</p> <p>Chinese: The Chinese Buddhists and Taoists use a 108 bead mala, which is called su-chu, and has three dividing beads, so the mala is divided into three parts of 36 each.</p> <p>Stages of the soul: Said that Atman, the human soul or center goes through 108 stages on the journey.</p> <p>Meru: This is a larger bead, not part of the 108. It is not tied in the sequence of the other beads. It is the quiding bead, the one that marks the beginning and end of the mala.</p> <p>Dance: There are 108 forms of dance in the Indian traditions.<br> Pythagorean: The nine is the limit of all numbers, all others existing and coming from the same. ie: 0 to 9 is all one needs to make up an infinite amount of numbers.</p> <p>We have listed below 108 Upanishads as per the list contained in the Muktikopanishad . We have arranged them in four categories according to the particular Veda to which each of them belong.</p> <p>Rigveda(10): Aitareya , Atmabodha, Kaushitaki, Mudgala, Nirvana, Nadabindu, Akshamaya, Tripura, Bahvruka, Saubhagyalakshmi.<br> Yajurveda(50): Katha, Taittiriya , Isavasya , Brihadaranyaka, Akshi, Ekakshara, Garbha, Prnagnihotra, Svetasvatara, Sariraka, Sukarahasya, Skanda, Sarvasara, Adhyatma, Niralamba, Paingala, Mantrika, Muktika, Subala, Avadhuta, Katharudra, Brahma, Jabala, Turiyatita, Paramahamsa, Bhikshuka, Yajnavalkya, Satyayani, Amrtanada, Amrtabindu, Kshurika, Tejobindu, Dhyanabindu, Brahmavidya, YogakundalinI, Yogatattva, Yogasikha, Varaha, Advayataraka, Trisikhibrahmana, mandalabrahmana, Hamsa, Kalisantaraaa, Narayana, Tarasara, Kalagnirudra, Dakshinamurti, Pancabrahma, Rudrahrdaya, SarasvatIrahasya.<br> SamaVeda(16): Kena, Chandogya, Mahat, Maitrayani, Vajrasuci, Savitri, Aruneya, Kundika, Maitreyi, Samnyasa, Jabaladarsana, Yogacudaman, Avyakta, Vasudevai, Jabali, Rudrakshajabala.<br> Atharvaveda(32): Prasna , Mandukya, Mundaka, Atma, Surya, Narada-Parivrajakas, Parabrahma, Paramahamsa-Parivrajakas, Pasupatha-Brahma, Mahavakya, Sandilya, Krishna, Garuda, Gopalatapani, Tripadavibhuti-mahnarayana, Dattatreya, Kaivalya, NrsimhatapanI, Ramatapani, Ramarahasya, HayagrIva, Atharvasikha, Atharvasira, Ganapati, Brhajjabala, Bhasmajabala, Sarabha, Annapurna, TripuratapanI, Devi, Bhavana, SIta.</strong></p> <p>From :<a href="http://mailerindia.com/slokas/mantras/index.php?signify108 "><a href="http://mailerindia.com/slokas/mantras/index.php?signify108">http://mailerindia.com/slokas/mantras/index.php?signify108</a> </a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/10/19/significance-of108-4895388/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-10-14:/2008/10/14/the-mayonnaise-jar-and-two-beers-4869367/bjaypee2008-10-14T12:43:36+02:002008-10-14T12:50:11+02:00 <p>[When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the Mayonnaise jar and the two Beers - from the fwd email circuit].</p> <p><strong>A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.</p> <p>When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.</p> <p>He then asked the students if the jar was full.They agreed that it was .</p> <p>The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar; he shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. </p> <p>He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.</p> <p>The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'</p> <p>The professor then produced the two beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.</p> <p><strong>'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.</p> <p>The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.</p> <p>The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.</p> <p>'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.Set your priorities.</p> <p>'The rest is just sand.'</strong></p> <p>One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beers represented.</p> <p>The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers with a friend.'<br> </strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/10/14/the-mayonnaise-jar-and-two-beers-4869367/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-09-23:/2008/09/23/for-those-who-are-4766950/bjaypee2008-09-23T11:31:18+02:002008-09-23T11:31:18+02:00 <p><strong><br>Q: Where can women over the age of 50 find young, sexy men, who are<br>interested in them?<br> A: Try a bookstore under "Fiction"</p> <p> Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?<br> A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement.<br>When you are done you will have a place to live.</p> <p> Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ year old husband?<br> A: Tell him you're pregnant.</p> <p> Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a<br>mirror?<br> A: The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.</p> <p> Q: Why should 50+ year old people use valet parking?<br> A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.</p> <p> Q: Is it common for 50+ year olds to have problems with short term<br>memory storage?<br> A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is the problem.</p> <p> Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?<br> A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.</p> <p> Q: Where do 50+ year olds look for fashionable glasses?<br> A: On their foreheads.</p> <p> Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ year olds when they enter<br>antique stores?<br> A: "I remember these".</strong></p> <p>[from where else - fwd emails]</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/09/23/for-those-who-are-4766950/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-09-20:/2008/09/20/water-bottle-4753123/bjaypee2008-09-20T10:47:35+02:002008-09-20T10:51:58+02:00 <p><strong><img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c7b9c3ce41&realattid=0.1&attid=0.1&disp=emb&view=att&th=11c7aea7f792d64a" alt="Water Bottle" title="Water Bottle" width="200" height="600"></strong><br> <strong><br> How to avoid:<br> Check on the bottom of the bottle there is a triangle sign and there will be a number on it.</p> <p>If the number is higher than or equal to 5 –> then this bottle is safe to use.</p> <p>Whatever number under 5, will release the chemical. For most bottle water, the number is 1.</p> <p>Did you know chemical released by plastic water bottles can cause cancer<br> (It is not the water that affecting you but the chemical releasing from the bottle)</strong><br> [recd as a fwd email] </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/09/20/water-bottle-4753123/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-09-19:/2008/09/19/one-liners-4750000/bjaypee2008-09-19T14:11:32+02:002008-09-19T14:11:32+02:00 <p>[from fwd emails]</p> <p><strong>[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.<br>[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.<br>[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and<br>the other is the husband!<br>[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.<br>[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've<br>purchased new school uniforms.<br>[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.<br>[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.<br>[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.<br>[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.<br>[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.<br>[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.<br>[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.<br>[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.<br>[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.<br>[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.<br>[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.<br>[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.<br>[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.<br>[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.<br>[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something<br>[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!<br>[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?<br>Dr: Get married.<br>Man: Will it help?<br>Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.<br>[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!<br>[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?<br>Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.<br>[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.<br>[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.<br>[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!</strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/09/19/one-liners-4750000/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-09-03:/2008/09/03/chrome-the-google-browser-4674558/bjaypee2008-09-03T05:31:42+02:002008-09-03T07:29:49+02:00 <p><strong>I am a 'Googlian' :>>. Anything from Google...I take it to be good.</p> <p>I was surprised to see an exclusive browser from google called CHROME for I always thought FIREFOX and GOOGLE complimented each other.</p> <p>Here is what 'google' says </strong></p> <p><strong><em><u>A fresh take on the browser</u></p> <p><img src="http://blogoscoped.com/files/google-chrome-logo.jpg" alt="chrome"></p> <p>At Google, we spend much of our time working inside a browser. Like all of you, we search, shop, bank, read news and keep in touch with friends - all using a browser. People are spending an increasing amount of time online, and they're doing things never imagined when the web first appeared about 15 years ago.</p> <p>Since we spend so much time online, we began seriously thinking about what kind of browser could exist if you started from scratch and built on the best elements out there. We realised that the web had evolved from mainly simple text pages to rich, interactive applications and that we needed to completely rethink the browser. What we really needed was not just a browser, but also a modern platform for web pages and applications, and that's what we set out to build.So today we're releasing the beta version of a new open-source browser: Google Chrome.</em></p> <p>You can download Google Chrome from <a href="http://www.google.com/chrome/index.html?hl=en-GB&brand=CHMA&utm_campaign=en-GB&utm_source=en-GB-ha-apac-in-bk&utm_medium=ha&utm_term=chrome%20browser">here</a></p> <p>I have just installed google's 'chrome' as a third browser after Firefox v3 and Internet Explorer 8 Beta.</p> <p><u>My websie <a href="http://badaga.info">http://badaga.info</a> in Google Chrome browser</u></p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/google_browser_chroma/2780692" title="Google browser chroma"><img src="http://data5.blog.de/media/692/2780692_aec1b0a78b_m.jpeg" alt="Google browser chroma" hspace="5" vspace="5"></a></p> <p>I feel that all the three are very good.</p> <p>The best browser ??...well, the verdict will be out soon.</strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/09/03/chrome-the-google-browser-4674558/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-03-18:/2008/03/18/all-for-a-litre-3901058/bjaypee2008-03-18T18:38:15+01:002008-03-18T18:55:20+01:00 <p>Cost of Fuel gone up? Don't feel so bad!</p> <p> Over the weekend, I filled up my car's fuel tank, and I thought fuel has become really expensive after the recent price hike.</p> <p> But then I compared it with other common liquids and did some quick calculations, and I felt a little better.</p> <p> To know why, see the results below – you'll be surprised at how outrageous some other prices are !</p> <p> Diesel (regular) in Mumbai : Rs.36.08 per litre</p> <p> Petrol (speed) in Mumbai : Rs.52 per litre</p> <p> Coca Cola 330 ml can : Rs.20 = Rs.61 per litre</p> <p> Dettol antiseptic 100 ml Rs.20 = Rs.200 per litre</p> <p> Radiator coolant 500 ml Rs.160 = Rs.320 per litre</p> <p> Pantene conditioner 400 ml Rs.165 = Rs.413 per litre</p> <p> Medicinal mouthwash like Listerine 100 ml Rs.45 = Rs. 450 per litre</p> <p> Red Bull 150 ml can : Rs.75 = Rs.500 per litre</p> <p> Corex cough syrup 100 ml Rs.57 = Rs. 570 per litre</p> <p> Evian water 500 ml Rs. 330 = Rs. 660 per litre</p> <p> Rs. 660 for a litre of WATER???!!! And the buyers don't even know the source (<strong>Evian spelled backwards is Naive</strong>.)</p> <p> Kores whiteout 15 ml Rs. 15 = Rs. 1000 per litre</p> <p> Cup of coffee at any decent business hotel 150 ml Rs. 175 = Rs. 1167 per litre</p> <p> Old Spice after shave lotion 100 ml Rs. 175 = Rs. 1750 per litre</p> <p> Pure almond oil 25 ml Rs. 68 = Rs. 2720 per litre</p> <p> <strong>And this is the REAL KICKER...</p> <p> HP deskjet colour ink cartridge 21 ml Rs.1900 = Rs. 90476 per litre!!!</strong></p> <p> Now you know why computer printers are so cheap ? So they have you hooked for the ink !</p> <p> So, the next time you're at the pump, don't curse our honorable Petroleum minister – just be glad your car doesn't run on cough syrup, after shave, coffee, or God forbid, printer ink !</p> <p>[email from my "litred" friend] </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/03/18/all-for-a-litre-3901058/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-03-18:/2008/03/18/am-bush-ed-3901020/bjaypee2008-03-18T18:27:11+01:002008-03-18T18:31:34+01:00 <p><strong><br>While visiting India , George Bush is invited to tea with Indian President Abdul Kalam.</p> <p>He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people.</p> <p>Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent.</p> <p>"I do so by asking them the right questions,"says Kalam. "Allow me to demonstrate."</p> <p>Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"</p> <p>Manmohan immediately responds, "It's me, Sir !"</p> <p>"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says Kalam. He hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"</p> <p>Bush nods: "Yes Mr. President. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"</p> <p>Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Condoleeza Rice to the test. Bush summons her to the White House and says, "Condoleeza, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."</p> <p>"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"</p> <p>Bush poses the question: "Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"</p> <p>Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to<br>you?" </p> <p>Bush agrees, and Rice leaves. Rice immediately calls a meeting of<br>senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but<br>nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Rice calls Colin Powell and explains the problem.</p> <p>"Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"</p> <p>Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."</p> <p>Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's our Colin Powell!"</p> <p>And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, its Manmohan Singh!"</strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/03/18/am-bush-ed-3901020/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-03-10:/2008/03/10/for-ever-true-3849083/bjaypee2008-03-10T14:54:43+01:002008-03-10T14:54:43+01:00 <p><strong>U love someone<br> U marry someone else.<br> The one u marry<br> becomes ur wife or husband<br> And the one u loved<br> becomes the password of your "email id"<br> ---------------<br> There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.<br> There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it.<br> --------------<br> Three dreams of a man:<br> To be as handsome as his mother thinks.<br> To be as rich as his child believes.<br> To have as many women as his wife suspects...<br> ---------------<br> Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is the liver & wife the kidney.</p> <p>If the liver fails, the kidney fails. If the kidney fails, the liver manages with other kidney.<br> ---------------<br> Generation Next Motto: We will NOT get married and we will NOT let OUR children marry.<br> ---------------<br> What's the diff between medicine and drink?</p> <p>Medicine is like a girlfriend, that comes with an expiry date and drink is like a wife, the less you take in, the better.<br> ---------------</strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/03/10/for-ever-true-3849083/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-03-10:/2008/03/10/women-s-day-better-late-than-be-never-3848139/bjaypee2008-03-10T11:30:42+01:002008-09-03T08:01:26+02:00 <p><strong><strong><span>WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>Keep reading-they get better!!!</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span><span> </span></strong></strong><strong><span><br> </span></strong><span><br> </span><span></p> <p></span><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>WOMEN'S REVENGE</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>As she fumbled for her wallet</span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span> ,</span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span> I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>UNDERSTANDING WOMEN<br> </span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span><br> (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)<br> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>I know I'm not going to understand women.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>and still be afraid of a spider.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><span><br> </span></strong><span><br> </span><span></p> <p></span><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>MARRIAGE SEMINAR</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>Joe and his wife Ann listened to the instructor,</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.'</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>He addressed the man,</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span><span> </span></strong></strong><strong><span><br> </span></strong><span><br> </span><span></p> <p></span><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>She directs him down the correct aisle.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>He answers, 'You see, it's like this,</span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span> yesterday, I sent my wife to the store</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>So, I figure if I have to roll my own , so does she.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>WIFE VS. HUSBAND<br> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>An earlier discussion had led to an argument and </span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span>neither of them wanted to concede their position.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span><span> </span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>WORDS</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>30,000 to a man's 15,000.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men..</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><span><br> </span><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>CREATION</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you</span></strong></strong><strong><strong><span> !</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span><span> </span></strong></strong><strong><span><br> </span></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>WHO DOES WHAT</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>A man and his wife were having an argument about who</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>should brew the coffee each morning.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee'</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>So she fetched the B ible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><span></p> <p></span><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>The Silent Treatment</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>A man and his wife were having some problems at home</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>and were giving each other the silent treatment.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.</span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span> </span></strong></strong><span><br> </span><strong><strong><span>God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece</span></strong></strong></strong></p> <p><strong><strong><strong></strong></strong><span>Click on the picture if you want to confirm and see the 'master piece'<br> <a href="http://www.annapolisfilmfestival.com/images/perilsinnudemodelling.jpg"><img src="http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:xPaHU3RYb4xZcM:http://www.annapolisfilmfestival.com/images/perilsinnudemodelling.jpg" alt="" width="106" height="172"></a> </span></strong></p> <strong></p> <p>an email forwarded ...you guessed it... to my wife  !</strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/03/10/women-s-day-better-late-than-be-never-3848139/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-03-10:/2008/03/10/medicare-at-its-best-3846582/bjaypee2008-03-10T06:53:20+01:002008-03-10T09:55:12+01:00 <p>+  MEDICARE  +</p> <p>The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'</p> <p>'Mrs. Sanders, please.'</p> <p>'Speaking.'</p> <p>'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, A biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible.'</p> <p>'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.</p> <p>'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for A I D S. We can't tell which is your husband's'.</p> <p>'That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders.</p> <p>'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.'</p> <p>'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'</p> <p>'The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.'</p> <p>[recd as a fwd email]</p> <p><img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y134/organichic/purplehand.gif" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/03/10/medicare-at-its-best-3846582/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-03-10:/2008/03/10/got-lemons-ask-for-tequila-aamp-salt-and-3846423/bjaypee2008-03-10T06:12:03+01:002008-03-10T09:42:14+01:00 <p><strong><br> This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where you could read it everyday. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.<br>  <br> 1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.<br>  <br> 2. At least 15 people in this world that love you in some way.<br>  <br> 3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.<br>  <br> 4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.<br>  <br> 5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.<br>  <br> 6. You mean the world to someone.<br>  <br> 7. You are special and unique.<br>  <br> 8. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.<br>  <br> 9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.<br>  <br> 10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.<br>  <br> 11.  Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.<br>  <br> So.......... If you are a loving friend, send this to everyone, including the one that sent it to you . If you get it back, then they really do love you. </p> <p>And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over! </p> <p> <img src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_GVOzcL819mQ/Rkhp776gcuI/AAAAAAAAAiY/Fa6Z6g2kgCE/s320/lemon-782321.jpg" border="0" alt="">from : <a href="http://bohemiansinglemom.blogspot.com/2007/05/tequila-and-salt.html"><a href="http://bohemiansinglemom.blogspot.com/2007/05/tequila-and-salt.html">http://bohemiansinglemom.blogspot.com/2007/05/tequila-and-salt.html</a></a><br> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br> Good friends are like stars........<br>  <br> You don't always see them, BUT you know they are always there.<br>  <br> I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I'm here than a whole truck load when I'm gone.<br>  <br> RETURN TO SENDER<br>  <br> Forward to all your friends, including me! </p> <p>And don't tell me you're too busy for this. Don't you know the phrase 'stop and smell the flowers'?<br> See how many 'bouquets ' you end up with ! </p> <p>Have a happy day!!</p> <p>[a fwd email doing the circles]</strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/03/10/got-lemons-ask-for-tequila-aamp-salt-and-3846423/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-03-08:/2008/03/08/have-you-updated-your-windows-xp-with-sp-3834229/bjaypee2008-03-08T03:50:33+01:002008-03-08T04:08:43+01:00 <p><strong><u>No Blues or rather no blue screens !</u></p> <p>One of the easiest ways of having a tension free experience with your computer system is to install the latest updates for the Operating Software like Windows XP.</p> <p>The latest service pack SP3 (RC2 version 3311 - with all the updates) can be downloaded from <a href="http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?FamilyId=114F3599-12AF-42B2-AAB1-B969A62C68A7&displaylang=en#filelist">http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?FamilyId=114F3599-12AF-42B2-AAB1-B969A62C68A7&displaylang=en#filelist</a></p> <p>The download file size is 315 MB</p> <p><u>Download</u></p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/screenshot015/2392144" title="ScreenShot015"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/144/2392144_b815786b10_s.jpg" alt="ScreenShot015" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p> <p><u>Installing</u></p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/screenshot013/2392145" title="ScreenShot013"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/145/2392145_62e3e76b8e_s.jpg" alt="ScreenShot013" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p> <p><u>Installed Version</u><br> <a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/screenshot014/2392146" title="ScreenShot014"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/146/2392146_62bab04060_s.jpg" alt="ScreenShot014" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p> <p></strong></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/03/08/have-you-updated-your-windows-xp-with-sp-3834229/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-03-07:/2008/03/07/oh-father-3831939/bjaypee2008-03-07T18:53:46+01:002008-03-07T19:00:35+01:00 <p><strong><u>Confession</u><br>      <br>       <br>        A woman takes a lover home during the day while her  husband is at work.<br>       <br>        Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly,sees them and hides in the  bedroom closet to watch.<br>       <br>        The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.<br>       <br>        The little boy says, "Dark in here."<br>        The man says , "Yes, it is."<br>        Boy - "I have a baseball."<br>        Man - "That's nice."<br>        Boy - "Want to buy it?"<br>        Man - "No, thanks."<br>        Boy - "My dad's outside."<br>        Man - "OK, how much?"<br>        Boy - "$150"<br>        Man - "Sold."<br>       <br>        In the next few weeks, it happens again that the  boy and the lover are in the closet together.<br>       <br>        Boy - "Dark in here."<br>        Man - "Yes, it is."<br>        Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove."<br>        The lover , remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"<br>        Boy - "$350"<br>        Man - "Highway robbery. Sold."<br>       <br>        A few days later , the father says to the boy, "Grab your gloves, let's go outside and have a game of catch."<br>       <br>        The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and my glove."<br>        The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"<br>        The boy says, "$500"<br>       <br>        The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... That is way more than those two things cost.I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed."</p> <p>        They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.<br>       <br>        The boy says, "Dark in here."<br>        The priest says, "Don't start that s**t again, you're in my closet now.</strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/03/07/oh-father-3831939/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:from23jvv.blog.co.uk,2008-03-07:/2008/03/07/bill-opens-the-gates-3828914/bjaypee2008-03-07T09:36:40+01:002008-03-07T09:44:30+01:00 <p><strong><br> Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this!</p> <p><img src="http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/tv/vista460.jpg" alt=""></p> <p>To anyone with kids of any age, here's some advice. </p> <p>Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created <u>a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world. </u></p> <p>Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it! </p> <p>Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. </p> <p>Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both. </p> <p>Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. </p> <p>Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity. </p> <p>Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them. </p> <p>Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. </p> <p>Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. </p> <p>Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time. </p> <p>Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. </p> <p>Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. </p> <p>If you agree, pass it on.</strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://from23jvv.blog.co.uk/2008/03/07/bill-opens-the-gates-3828914/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>